Marriage is Gay
Today I read an op ed that was so ridiculous and hateful I decided to post something I wrote a while ago, back when MD was considering same-sex marriage legislation. (Before our elected officials ‘bravely’ decided to table on it to avoid having to make a possibly unpopular decision. Better to deny an entire class of people than piss of the religious right amirite?)
Religion, politics, fear and hate have become so entangled and inflamed that I think a lot of people are missing the most basic element of the fight for same-sex marriage equality- human beings.
I am a human being who happens to be a lesbian.
I am an ordinary and productive member of society. I was born, raised and educated K- present graduate studies in the old line state. In the interest of self disclosure- I hate crabs, near treason around here but that’s neither here nor there. Point is- I would argue that I’m more like than unlike those that seek to deny me rights.
My partner and I are homeowners; we pay our taxes, support our local economy, adopt shelter animals and work in professions that directly support disadvantaged people of this state. On the weekend you might find us cooking together, running errands or working around our home. We hardly embody the vilified persona that has, at times, been thrust upon us. I’m not trying to destroy the unions of my heterosexual neighbors; I’m certainly not trying to indoctrinate their children. Nor am I, as some more ridiculous arguments would claim, looking to marry a family member, my cat or a dog. (Ok, sometimes I slip the pooch next door Milkbones but I assure you I am not attempting to woo him into matrimony.)
I don’t have short hair nor do I wear flannel, perhaps opponents of same-sex unions are afraid that because I don’t look like a stereotype I’ll slip by unnoticed and they won’t remember to hate me or wish to deny me rights. Despite all of the biblical verses, venom, errant statistics and supposed health facts I have yet to hear a single sound position on how the love between my partner and I negatively affects anyone.
It is inconceivable to me that my love generates such hate from people I don’t even know. I don’t care what happens in your bedrooms (although I have a sneaking suspicion it’s not that great- maybe that’s why some people are so hateful) and I should hope you feel the same. Life is so short- finding true love and stability is so precious, shouldn’t we wish it for everyone?
For those who wish to deny same-sex unions I have a proposition. All I’m asking is for the same rights and protections granted to heterosexuals in committed relationships. In turn, I promise not to degrade the ‘sanctity of marriage’ I keep hearing about including: reality TV marriages, Elvis officiated weddings in Vegas, the alarmingly high divorce rate and the advertising of gift registries on wedding invitations (ugh tacky and my partner and I have furnished our own home.) I don’t want to get married in your church, or any church for that matter. I don’t even want to take away the sacred ceremony of the ‘money dance’, the ‘electric slide’ and smashing overpriced cake in each other’s faces. You can even keep the throwing of birdseed and blowing tiny containers of bubbles all to yourselves.
Wait, can we share the bubbles? No? Ok, that’s fine, keep the bubbles, seriously. I’m reasonable, I can compromise here. I just want to be legally recognized as my partner’s spouse and next-of-kin. You keep the bubbles, we’ll share the legal protections, Deal?
My partner and I support the economy and people of this state in more ways than one. I certainly hope that my elected officials remember that LGBT people are people first and not just a polarizing political and religious issue. We are thinking, feeling, loving, working, voting human beings. I hope they’ll consider this when it comes time to vote for or against my rights. Well, except Senators Jacobs and Pipkin, we seem to have an “I don’t vote for them and they promise to vote against my civil rights” type relationship.
The bottom line is this issue is about treating fellow Marylanders, citizens and human beings as less-than because of who they love. The last time the populace sought to deny the rights of and grossly mistreat a specific group of human beings it turned out very badly and left a most embarrassing stain on history.
I am a woman who happens to love another woman, I deserve equal protections. What is everyone so afraid of?